Saturday, 18 June 2011

LIFE ....??

(the underwritten lines have been extracted from the writer's article, MY LIFE) 

   The four lettered word, life, though it is short as the life itself but its deep and intricate. I had always been very keen about writing articles and stories, working with pen has always been one of my greatest passion but yet not the only one. I always thought that swirls of pen on a piece of paper are the preeminent way of defining your thoughts and feelings. But despite of all this, when I was told to write an article encircling my life, I was quite bedazzled, and for a week I could not gather myself to write about it, for not because I feared the ink of pen but because whenever I wrote something I enriched it with my true feelings and thoughts and since I had this firm believe of imperfection in attributes of human behavior, I feared that I might translate such nodes of my life which might not carry an impression of morality.            
  I had always wondered about the real meaning and purpose of life, read many theories and quotations but none satisfied my longing. And then it was AL-QURAN who came upon my rescue and I learned from the words of my creator, the supreme commander of the universe, that life is a continuous struggle, to differentiate the right from the wrong, bad from good, evil from virtuous and there indeed defining and building up your own path to heaven.
               How often it is that we stimulate life incorrectly. Children are always taught and infused their purpose of life as becoming a doctor, an engineer, a renowned accountant or a military officer, but how many are taught this lesson of life, the bitter but true picture of life that this world and the life here is fake and has an end, the time scale of which is in the hand of none but ALLAH ALLMIGHTY. So this is how I begin here, with my way of defining life, and this is how I live my life, struggling to determine the right from wrong and giving my utmost to flutter the flag of truth, which needs not to be defined to me as it already has been, the book of guidance for which is AL-QURAN.


Thursday, 16 June 2011


“Gentleman I have seen your marksheets, you have got excellent grades, you can easily go to any renown university, why armed forces?”
Sir serving my nation has always been my passion.
“But you can still serve your nation by may be becoming an engineer or an accountant or a policy maker.”
Sir I want to serve with honor, respect and dignity and all three of them dipped in my blood. I want to sweat and bleed for this land and in the dark hours I don’t want to have any option other then fighting and sacrificing till my last breath. While in uniform I would know that this is what all I have, I live till the time the green flag flutters.
“hmm you said sacrifice, isn’t it?”
Yes sir.
Well I guess you are going in the right direction then.
These were the initial questions which the deputy president at ISSB centre asked me. The entire four days stay at ISSB centre MALIR cantt was tough and the routine was quite hectic but I was still enjoying every second of it. At the end of each day, I and my newly made friends had something interesting to do. Each morning all the candidates, gentlemen was the name used, had interesting stories to share.
“Yar kal kisi dash dash nay raat pani phenk dia meray oper, sara bister bheeg gaya, room say bahir nikalna allow nae hai warna main chorta nae osay.”
“Oee han yar mje koi jota mar kar bhag gaya.”
“Yar meray room main tw ulloo urr rahay the.”
I could easily recall the last sentence, we were right there hiding behind the curtains after throwing CHAPALS form three different directions towards Ahmed. The first one hit him right on his back while the second and third missed him by inches and made a fly fast salute, Ahmed was half up when the second and third CHAPAL was air borne, and he uttered this sentence.
“Oe yar otho, kamray main ullo urr rahay hain.”
And there he went down again, snoring loud. Ahmed had this gift of snoring loud, it was like as someone was driving a Honda of 1980’s and that too without silencer.

I was brought back from memories of my past to the duty room by the loud, irritating tone of my cell phone. I hated this tone so much but still never changed it.
“AOA ami jan kia haal hain”
“WS, beta main thek hun, tm apni sunao, aur ye batao k chutti kab aa rahay hoo?”
“wo …..ami jan …chutti ..thori si….”
My mother interrupted In between
“bas bas ab koi bahana nae chalay ga, tm aa jao gay to Navy ka kaam ruk nae jae ga, aur beta kuch arsay baad tmhari shaadi hai hamain tayari b karni hai”
I was confused and puzzled. I didn’t know how to tell my mother that current security situation was not very good and we were supposed to be on duty round the clock. I knew that this was the high time when my country and my people needed me and I didn’t want to turn back.
“ji ami jan, INSHALLAH bht jald ao ga”
Suddenly I heard a loud noise of a burst, the sound was massive and I knew that it was the time.
“beta ye awaz kesi thi ?”
“hello …..hellooo”
“beta meri awaz aa rahi hai……hello”
But I was not there to answer as I was out with my men of Quick Response team, the men of Janbaaz force who face the threat at the first line of defence. It was a heavy attack; the entire squad on main gate became victim to the bomb blasts timed one after the other. We were under heavy fire; the entire air was being muzzled by shells and bullets of heavy machine guns.
Three of my men embraced Shahadat, one after the other. It was too dark and it was hard to determine the direction from where the attack was being made, we couldn’t go on with blind firing as it could endanger the lives of my own men, every bullet was suppose to be right on the target.
“Gul Nawaz, I need cover, yahan say kuch pata nae chal raha, mje agay jana hai”
I screamed loud to make Gul Nawaz hear me as the entire place was filled with sound of guns and hand grenades.
“Sir agay bohat fire hai, ap yahin wait karain jab tak next platoon nae ati.”
“tab tak bht der hoo jae gi, agr ham nay yahan say unhain divert na kia tw poray unit main koi nae bachay, just do as I am saying dam it”
I shouted with all of my energy on him.
Gul Nawaz positioned himself on his LMG and opened fire, under cover of which I advanced forward firing from my G3, I kept advancing forward in the direction of fire, I knew I would never go back; all I wanted was to buy some time for the reserve battalion to move in, only few men understand the worth of such trade off, time at the price of life.
I was soon spotted by the NVD carrying snipers and was under fire from three different directions, I took every bullet one after the other right on my chest but didn’t let the enemy to advance forward.
 As I lay down, my blood fills the thirst of my mother land and my sacrifice gives the reserve platoon time to rush in and counter the attack. I can see my journey to my eternal home, and my body wrapped in green flag at my door step, I can see my father standing proud holding my with my white uniform colored red with my blood in his hands, I can see my mother searching for the corner of the house where she could hide and cry for that she lost her only son.

Sorry mom I couldn’t come home for my country needed my sacrifice.

Wednesday, 15 June 2011


Mani get up man ... hino pak and abraaj have just arrived and they are waiting for us in your room.
My room ? mani asked without opening his eyes.
“Yes, I made them to sit there and wait for us. I told them that It would just take me 5 minutes to get mani out of his bed. Get up now, it doesn’t look good that they came all the way here for this gathering and we are sleeping here, plus they expect the military people to be more disciplined and punctual and its 10:30 now, you are already 1:30 hour late.”
It was Sunday morning april 2011. Sundays are very special for us. Wearing uniform the entire week and more then that maintaining and carrying its grace, it’s not as easy as it seems to be. Military people always cherish Sundays so much, firstly they don’t have to put themselves into those high long boots and pretend as hard and tough going people with strong nerves who have this great tendency of hearing some CHARMING and OVERWHELMING words from their commandants all the time and still they manage to say ROGER SIR. I had always wondered that this ROGER goes quite side by side with BOTHER; just say ROGER on every order of your senior and he will not bother you, although he knows that saying roger never means that you are doing it, Secondly Sundays give you a day to be your own self. All you have to do is to attend the line phone in a different tone every time and just say “saab to kamray main nae hain, bahir gaye howay hain kisi kaam say”, and of course never attend calls on your cell from unknown numbers.
So it was this special and charming Sunday and Captain MANI was just MANI today, not willing to get out of his bed.
“You must have been on your cell phone the entire night, isn’t it? Hmm let me see who was she.”
My sentence was not complete and mani was out of his bed clutching his sony Ericson Xperia from my hand back which I didn’t resist as there was hardly any note of his life which I didn’t know, rubbing his eyes, with right one half open.
If they are in my room then where the hell I am?
Well you slept here last night while watching that “band of brothers.” Am going down stairs to your room, and I want your ass to be their in next 5 min.
We both always had been keen in gathering our old college friends. Luckily every time we received sparkling and vivacious gestures on our invitations yet every time surprises on the final day with txt messages of apologies from many, plunged with reasons which we never understood.
This time the surprise was the other way round. Only four in total were assumed to gather but ifti came in at the very last second, just at the time when we were throwing light on his scarce and inconceivable qualities. Our remarks didn’t fine ink here not that ifti wouldn’t like them but because on such occurring the sound of beep can’t be placed in and I don’t want this story to find its place in ‘Minto k betareen afsanay’.
The entire plan was to play little cricket and then to revive our energy by throwing our appetite on HALWA POORI.
Mani assessed very quickly that sun was burning hot and it wouldn’t be wise to leave the shelter and play cricket, moreover the pain of losing semi’s against india which he never had suddenly appeared on his ever smiling face.
“To hell with cricket, I can’t even bear this thought that we lost against India.”
Well his plan worked. All of us went into discussing facts that why Pakistan really lost, quitting our plan to play cricket. And of course Mani was at ease, relieved from the thought of playing cricket and delighted that he can lie down on his Molty foam for another hour.
There were laughter’s, moments of joys filled with shouts and sounds of hands striking hands. In the mean time the table for HALWA POORI was being prepared by mess staff. Abraaj and hino pak(our child hood friends, we call them by these names as their first employment after graduation was in above firms), were time and again inspired by how great life is in armed forces.
Obviously we only see the staggering colors of a portrait, the pain of the artist is never revealed and only he truly understands the worth of his art.
Ifti had a sudden call after which we felt that his looks changed. He made another call after that.
“han lalay howa kia hai?”
“kab ?”
“kis jaga par?”
“tu apna bata, teri taraf sab set hai?”
“chal INSHALLAH detail main baat hoo gi phir, ALLAH HAFIZ”.
A sudden silence encircled the entire room. Our eyes were fixed on ifti waiting for him to disclose the matter. He too did not let the suspense to float and after putting his cell phone down, he extinguished the remaining cigarette in ash try and continued.
“yar wo Captain Farhan hai na 116 LC ka”
“han han apna Farhan na”, Mani added
“han wohi, he has embraced SHAHADAT. He was taking part in an operation in Dar-e-adam khel against the insurgents and terrorist group and just about an hour back he got hit and entered the life of eternity.”
“So the account of our course has opened” I could easily see the pride in the voice of Mani for his course mate embraced SHAHADAT.
“His family must be proud of him”.
But I on the other hand was restless after hearing this, my thoughts were dragged back and I wondering about a speech, Inter Karachi debate contest held in Muhammad Ali Jinnah University about two months back, I still remember the harsh and poisoning words from a young debator namely Qurat-ul-ain leghari, accusing Pakistan army of plundering the national wealth and being unpatriotic, the committee even rewarded her first prize for her perverting lines which amused the crowd. I was hurt not because Captain Farhan embraced SHAHADAT, for it is what I always had dreamt of and wished for, but for the Nation and country for which our lives have been destined for, for my countrymen sleep in their beds worry less, celebrate their Sundays and cherish awards on uttering lines against those who always have laid their blood and sacrificed their lives only to defend them. Farhan recently turned into his 23rd year of life and he is not the only one buried under the pillars of this country, this country is standing because there are people who are donating blood and putting their lives to behold its pillars, and yet not all of them receive rewards, for we truly understand that survival needs sacrifice of blood and life.
I could see the feeling of sorrow on the faces of abraj and hino pak, may be later they realized that the artist has used too much of red color while making portrait of this life.
“Chalo yar HALWA POORI thandi hoo rahi hai”, I stood up finally and we all went on to the table. For this was another routine day and there was not much to worry.     


Saturday, 11 June 2011

ye BAHRIA ka COLLEGE hai ...!!

(2003 , was written n den presented by me on farewell day ....class matric)













Wow !!
What a lovely evening it is. Look at the sky, I never noticed that even in Karachi the sky can be so clear and yes it’s blue. Look the scattered clouds on sky and the sun hiding behind them and this cool sea breeze, what a blessing it is.
It was though an ordinary Sunday of March but only a young cadet on short leave can have such feelings for a weather in which he had been living from his childhood. Stagnant weather of Karachi never charmed any one except the cadets of naval academy who proceed on short leave on Sundays. So even if you will find a cadet roaming around in scorching sun light on a short leave, he will tell you the same lines that how charming the life is out here.
It was his first short leave after forty days of intense hard training and he did his best to qualify his preliminary swimming and saluting test to get this short leave. Few hours out of naval academy were like he was suddenly in heaven out of hell.
Independence is such a blessing”
Uttering these words he went down stairs, out of his home.
“I guess having ice cream in such an evening would be a great idea”.
He went off to a near by medical and general store. Al-shifa medical and general store was little extra crowdie today. Since his child hood he had this basic instinct of staring and exploring things. But in that store there was something different today. There were signs of worries on his fore head, his big black eyes never narrowed with such anxiety.
These were the only words which came to his mind at that moment. There were around 15-20 people of different age group in that medical store, busy in for what they were there but he was amazed that no one noticed what he did.
“so we call our selves as human beings, may be robots are better then us”
He thought
May be what he was seeing was quite normal, something very ordinary, But not for him.
She was bare foot, wearing black large chaddar which was torn out from different places but still her face and head was covered.
“she is coughing very severely, but why is she out then if she is so much ill”
her eyes, how hurting it was to look at them. At times you really find your heart heavy and painful, pain just not for writing but the real pain. His heart was heavy and yes he felt pain in it just because he had a glance at those eyes telling a long story of suffering and misery.


Her plight was quite evident form her face but at the same time she appeared to be quite timid.
“Shall I ask her for any help which in case I may rent to her?”
“No, I guess she belongs to that breed of human beings who can die in hunger but their self respect never allows them to go out and scream for help”
Her young child was constantly pulling her Kurta and was constantly projecting his hands towards the giant fridge of drinks, uttering in a low, innocent and mournful voice
“ami ….juice …..ami …ami ”
His voice slowly died out, the silence of her mother made him clear that his desire will not be fulfilled.
“That is not for us, it has been made for the ruthless and rich bunch of people around you”
He thought she wanted to say this to her child but he was too young to understand that human beings have classes …and they belong to the poor class.
But he could overlook the tears in the eyes of that young child. He quickly went across to the counter and whispered to Qasim bhai.
“Qasim bhai what ever that women takes, charge her only with 25% of the money and give her a packet of juice with a gesture that its free with the medicine you took”
For an instance Qasim bhai gave him a weird look
“Obviously am going to pay the rest, don’t worry for that”
He started following her. It was not something he was doing unintentionally, he even didn’t have any reason for what he was doing, but still he couldn’t stop himself. His feet seem to be no more under his control.
It was a long walk.
“She has got nice stamina, I wonder how am going to go back”
They crossed different streets, they turned many rights, many lefts, crossed many intersections
“Shit I lost my north”
 He didn’t know in which direction they were going. This colony where ever they were was quite randomly constructed. He was quite badezelled by the way the people were living in that place.
At last she stopped in front of a small corroded steel gate and went inside.
“She didn’t even lock her home”
Locks serve to people who have homes, and this structure does not seem to be one.
Every inch of that place added to her grief-stricken condition, though the place was not more then few inches. Dirt and filth around the corroded steel gate added to the misery of that place.
He lifted his right hand to knock the door.
“But what am I going to do”
He kept standing there, still thinking.
Suddenly he noticed that the sun had completely dawned and his surrounding was as dark as the life in that place. He looked at the narrow passage which he had followed to come to that place.
“I don’t have much time, short leave will expire in next couple of hours and I have a boat to catch”
While standing at Kemari jetty waiting for his boat he thought that there are hundreds of such stories around us, thousands of such young women with dreadful tales of lives and millions of young children dying of hunger.
“Despite of all this, life never stops”
Boat from Pakistan naval academy left the jetty after the cadets hastened into it. It was again heading back towards the academy. After all
“Life has to go on ” 



Osay doctor say ye umeed nae thi . kitni asaani say oss nay keh dia tha "sorry beta but inn k pas ab zyada waqt nae hai , ham koshish pori kar rahay hain par inn k organs bari bari maflooj hoo rahay hain". 
wo sakht pareshan tha par na umeed nae. 
Bakwas kar raha hai ye doctor. military hospital k doctor wesay b afsar zyada hotay hain and doctor kam .
par ab main karu kia . agha khan lay jao , lekin suna hai agha khan ka death rate sab say zyada hai . itna bara hospital hai ye b . akhir koi tw doctor kaam ka hoo ga .
isi pareshani main oss nay pori raat kaat di . kabbi ICU k bed par letay howay apnay baap ko dekhta aur kabbi ghar par kisi achi khabar ka intezar kartay apni maa aur chotay bhai benhu k baray main sochta. oss ka baap umer k oss hisay main tha jis main wal-deen apnay bachu ko dunya ko fatah kartay howay dekhtay hain. Kameyabian tw oss nay b bht hasil kie thie ...aik k bd aik. osski khuwahish thi k dunya ko fatah kar k apnay baap k pairu mai dal day . Bachpan say aaj tak oss nay kaabi apni kisi kameeyabi par apnay baap say kuch na manga tha. Oss ka sab say bara inaam tw  khushi ko wo anso the jinhain har baar , har fatah k bd wo unn k chehray par dekhta tha. Bas yahi osay chahiye tha. har imtehan say pehlay wo apnay baap say dua  k liye kehta tha .Dono baap betay ka ajib rishta tha , osay apnay baap ki duao par umeed thi aur oss k baap ko osski mehnat par , aur khuda unn dono ko kabbi mayoos b na karta tha. baap betay k rishtay ka ye pul aksar kisi purani dosti k darya par banthay pul ki manind lagta tha,  bachpan say wo hameesh apnay baap ko DOST kehta aya tha.
"Nurse mai kuch der k liye ghar jaa raha hun , kapray wegara tabdeel kar k ata hun , inhain agr hosh ae tw plz meray number par call kar lije- ga".
fajr ki nazmaz parhnay k baad wo thori der apnay baap k sarhanay khara raha aur phir duty nurse say milnay k bd ghar ki taraf chal para . osay poori umeed thi k doctor bakwas kar raha hai . aesa kesay hoo skta hai . abi abu ki umer hi kia  hai . 50 saal , huh ..iss umer main tw log apni sari zindagi ki mehnat ka phal khatay hain . Unhain nay tw sirf mehnat ki hai , fasal paqq chuki hai aur phal khana unka haq hai .ALLAH na insaafi nae karta . Wo abi zinda rahay gay. osi pori umeed thi k osski graduation par wo zaror ae gay aur graduation main tw abi saal baki hai. Phr wo kesay ja sktay hain!

 Osay bed par letay kuch hi waqt howa tha k oska phone bol otha. 
beta jaldi say hospital ao , forun
khala jan kia howa hai ??
aur dosri taraf sy phone kutt gaya.

Oss nay sari zindagi umeedu k saharay hi tw ji thi . ….aur wo kabbi mayoss nae howa tha . wo unn logo main say tha jo hameesha iss baat par gehra yakeen rakhtay hain k umeed k saharay dunya qa-em hai .
Apnay baap ki purani Honda ko wo bhagata howa hospital puhancha.
‘kia howa ho ga, phr koi attack aya hoo ga aur ami nay ghabra kar koi tofan khara kar dia ho ga , ami k jazbat ko sambhalna ab mushkil hota ja raha hai, itni bar samjhaya hai unko k abu thek hoo jain gay bas thora sabar aur hoslay say kaam lain ….chotay behan bhai pehlay hi itnay pareshan hain oper say ye ami ki pareshani …’
Aesay pata nae kitnay hi unn gin^nat khayal oss k zehan k dareechu^n main ghoom rahay the. Car parking say emergency rm k ICU tak wo takreeban  100 meter race bhag kar puhancha
“itna tez agar iss dafa k sports day par bhaga hota tw silver k bajae shayd gold medal mil hi jata”.
reception par ruk kar ye sochtay howay  sans ko bahaal kia aur ICU main dakhil hoo gaya . ander dakhil hotay hi sedhay hath par pehla bed oss k baap ka hi tha jis k baray main wo aksar ye sochta tha k bed ka size roz ba roz bara hota jaa raha hai , wo ye mananay ko tayar na tha k 70 kilo k jis neem behosh jism ko staff nay aik maheena pehlay iss bed par dala tha , wo ab sukar kar mehaz chand kilo ka reh gaya tha . Bed…..wo tw be-jaan tha , wo bhala kesay bara hoo skta hai.
Bas ye do lafz oss k mu say niklay , shayd aur b bht kuch nikalta lekin lafz , ehsasaat , jazbaat …sab kahin bikhar say gaye , kahin gum say ho gaye …
“Abdullah beta sabar karo bas ALLAH ko yahi manzoor tha ”
Ye shayd khala jan ki awaz hai , osay bas awazu ki pehchan thi …alfazu ki pehchan shayd wo thek say kar hi nae paa raha tha , kesay karta  ..itna kuch tha pehlay hi pehchananay k liye , bister par safai^d chadar main lipti koi laash , par ye tw abu ka bed tha abu kahan hai ..
“dr. say pochta hun”
Par zaban nay alfaz ka sath nae diya , ami ..wo wahan konay main kia kar rahi hain , shayd roo rahi hain aur wo shayd bari khala hain jo unko sahara day rahi hain .
“beta ghar jao , wahan sab akelay hain aur unhain sab say zyada iss waqt tmhari zarorat hai”
Ab ki bar wo awaz b na pehchan paya aur chup chap ghar ki taraf chal para , oska zehan b shayd apnay baap ki rooh k sath kisi aur aalam mai chala gaya tha ya shayd aalam-e-arwa mai iss faislay k khilaf koi muqada-ma karnay.
“kia waqai umeed par dunya qayan hai ”.
Iss say zyada wo kuch soch na saka . dekhnay walay kehtay hain k koi oss k anso  nae dekh paya , kia sara pani ander hi sookh gaya tha ?
Mahallay k kuch logo nay oss k ghar k bahir tent lagwa dia  aur logo ki line lag gai .
“beta sabar karo”
“hosla rakho ”
“ALLAH unko jannat mai jaga ata farmae”
Aur aesay hi bht say alfaaz jinhain wo pehchan nae paa raha tha. Osay bari kooft hoo rai thi . tent k beach main wo sir jhukae betha tha aur anay walay oss say bari bari taziat kar rahay the lekin oss k hoont shayd sill say gaye the aur alfaaz sab chotay par gaye the.
“kia mje dukh hai , tw phr mai roo kuon nae raha , ansoo kuo sath chor gaye hain”
Wo ghantu^n osi tent main betha yahi sochta raha , kon aya ..kon gaya …osay kuch yaad hi nae raha …shayd wo ye manany ko tayar na tha k umeed nay oss k ghar walu ka sath chor dia hai . oss ka baap aik lambi bemari sy sakht jhang lar raha tha , lekin himmat kabbi na hari thi aur baap ki yahi himmat poray ghar k liye umeed ki shamma thi .
“par ab kia hoo ga”
Wo ye sochta howa ghar k gate say ander dakhil howa tw oss ki behnai^n oss say lippat kar ronay lagien …chota bhai gate k sath aik purani kursi par sir jhukae betha tha aur oss ki maa apni behan say jan chura kar oss k pas ai , oss nay maa k ansoo saaf kiye tw anso^oo k oss paar ma ki ankhun mai osay ajib si roshni dikhai di …oss nay baari baari sab behn^u aur bhai k ans^o saaf kiye aur dilasa dia …or sab ki ankhu mai hi osay koi roshni ya shamma dikhai di .fajar ki azan moulvi barabar ki masjid say day raha tha , wo b namaz k liye chal para .
“han wo umeed ki shamma thi aur unn sab ki umeedain ab mj say wabasta hain , par meri ummedu^ ka sahara kon hoo ga ”
Gali k akhir main masjid k gate say ander dakhil honay say pehlay oss nay sir otha kar jab masjid k gate par likhi dua par ALLAH ka naam parha tw osski ankhu main b wo shamma roshan thi .