Thursday, 28 November 2013

Sir te topi ,te niyyat khoti ....Part 2.

continued from previous............

The moment the needle clicked 13:30 we all stood up for SALAH.  
Who will stand in front as IMAM?
We don’t have a proper MASJID with paid IMAM in our office, instead our management has been kind enough to provide us with a praying area and IMAM on volunteer basis……….well we had to find one at every SALAH.
Democracy rules now jerks!
 It was not only me pondering over this, but for few seconds I saw everyone scanning Everyone!
It was a usual process of being scanned. At that particular moment I always found myself filled with guilt. I did have a wish of stepping out and performing IMAMAT, but never had the courage to do so. Every day, ……..this was the place where I felt myself as a third grade citizen. It was like suddenly you find yourself on stage with spot light right on you, theatre……….…house full
 Pin drop silence……
 With all eyes fixed on you…..
 And there you stand……………………..totally Naked!
May be it was my own assumption. May be they don’t know about my sins. May be they don’t know about ashi…nelophar…jenny…..annie….mennie…tenniee…..ohhhh Annie you are so hot…I mean HOT!!
“ALLAH O AKBAR ….ALLAH O AKBAR”……someone was reciting TAKBEER. Finally we found the right man for IMAMAT.
And guess who?
Yes, the guy with the longest beard. And the one with second longest beard was reciting TAKBEER. Together we had found our most pious and righteous guys.
MOULANA SAHAB, the righteous guy..haina?
“Abdullah get on with the beard and come on lead us”. Yes I was just one beard away from being the most righteous guy, the most innocent …….like a newly born child. Thought the child doesn’t have a beard! But he is innocent…..sinless.
And what about Annie, her hotness, our magnificent dates those last dark seats of atrium, where you are always concentrating less on movie and more on MOVIE!
“Don’t worry about it yar, your beard will conceal all of it ” I told myself
“And what if the IMAM SAHIB is having an Annie too. Wow isn’t that cool. No I mean isn’t that HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT…!”

P.S: I just want to make it clear that I am not against keeping beard. No not at all. Rather I love it. I truly believe that keeping beard is following noble SUNNAH of Prophet MUHAMMAD S.A.W. Instead I just want to express my feeling over the fact that as a nation our direction is not right..not at all. It is so unfortunate that our understanding of ISLAM is so poor when it comes to the implementation of ISLAMIC teachings in our daily lives. We believe more on things which are visual to us, and forget that ISLAM has more to do with moral and spiritual values followed by practice of our learning in true letter and spirit. Avoiding back biting, fraud, false statements, earning of inappropriate profit, hating others, judging others, considering others to be more kafir  and yourself as the most MUTAQI on earth, hurting others, using others, being mean, selfish, treacherous and what not.
Only having Annie around you is not the only sin. And please this statement is not a ticket of proving that Annie is not a sin. Let us forget her for heaven sake!
To cut the story short…….daikho bhai signal torna be gunnah hai !

Saturday, 9 November 2013

Sir te topi , te niyyat khoti

Are you one of those who always find it difficult to develop loving affair with their office bosses and working environment!
Same case here :P
 Despite of a long working career by now, I have still failed to understand or learn how to be in good books of my bosses. I seriously don’t understand “Boss ko patatay kaisay hain yar”!!
   Every time when I feel that am doing good and people are happy around me, a clock in my mind starts tickling hard, and I feel that every passing second is nearing my annual leave. So somehow I gather the entire strength, take a deep breath, hold my neck high and
 “Excuse me sir”
And before boss’s slow and obsolete processor could interpret what I have just said, I enter his office, assuming that the answer would definitely had been
“Yes, come in”!
Today, yet again, it was the day…finally am going to ask him for a leave! And my ever wish of a leisure trip to northern areas, with an amazing group which am sure am going to find and in that too I
Northern areas, ye chez !
will meet someone whom I had always seen in my dreams ……just like in movies….wow….Bullshit!!
It was my boss.
“What kind of bullshit is this”!
“Abdullah, I think you should look into this. Ahmed is new and he is not getting things right! Next week the foreign delegation is coming and we need to get ourselves geared up”!
‘Yes Sir ’, I could not say anything else.
While working on that ‘Bullshit’ which my boss assigned me to clean up for him, I was wondering that how on the earth he came to know that am planning for a leave.
‘He definitely knew it, and had nothing better than this crap to do away with my little wish of leave’….ohhhh my love, again I failed to reach you!
And now what am going to tell people around me who often ask me, ‘aur bhai…shadi wadi kar li k nae?’
‘Nae yar, bas abi talash e gumshuda jari hai’, my pet answer with a stupid smile.
And at this moment I realized that how much I hate doing work.
Any how I did not have enough time and was to submit my work before the day ends, so I quickly turned on my laptop, placed on a serious and annoying look on my face, Plugged in my headphones into my laptop and there it goes
Besharam’ !
I just downloaded it the other day :P
At the interval, I didn’t have popcorns and drink but instead just like good and faithful Islami bhai, I went off for Salah(Namaz).
I saw my colleagues in the praying area, tired looks on their faces and shoulder tilted down as if they are carrying tones of load.
And of course my body language was not very different...............!:(
What .....?
You don’t expect me to be energetic and fresh after such hard work of 1:30 hr!:X

To be continued…………..

Wednesday, 5 June 2013


(The writer of the story is unknown to me)

After 21 years of Marriage, my Wife wanted me to take another Woman out to Dinner and a Movie.She said I Love You but I know this other Woman loves you and would Love to spend some Time with You.

The other Woman that my Wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER,
who has been a Widow for 19 years, but the demands of my Work and my three Children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to Invite her to go out for Dinner and a Movie.

'What's wrong, are you well,' she asked?

My Mother is the type of Woman who suspects that a Late Night Call or a Surprise Invitation is a sign of Bad News.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,'I responded.
'Just the two of us.'

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit Nervous.
When I arrived at her House, I noticed that she too seemed to be Nervous
about our Date.

She waited in the Door with her Coat on. She had Curled her Hair and was wearing the Dress that she had worn to Celebrate her last Wedding Anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as Radiant as an Angel's.

'I told my Friends that I was going to go out with My Son, and they were impressed, '
She said, as she got into the Car.
'They can't wait to hear about our meeting'.

We went to a Restaurant that, although not Elegant, was very Nice and Cozy. My Mother took my Arm as if She were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the Menu. Large Print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting
there staring at me.
A Nostalgic Smile was on her Lips.

'It was I who used to have to Read the Menu when you were Small,' She said.

'Then it's Time that you Relax and let me Return the Favor,'I responded.

During the Dinner, we had an Agreeable Conversation, nothing Extra-ordinary, but catching up on recent Events of each others Life.

We talked so much that we missed the Movie.
As we arrived at her House later,
She said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.'I agreed.

'How was your Dinner Date?' asked My Wife when I got Home.
'Very Nice. Much more so than I could have Imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my Mother died of a Massive Heart Attack.

It happened so suddenly that I didn't have Time to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an Envelope with a Copy of a Restaurant Receipt from the same place Mother and I had dined.

An Attached Note Said:
'I paid this Bill in Advance.
I wasn't sure that I could be there;
But nevertheless, I paid for Two Plates 
One for You and the Other for Your Wife.
You will never know what that Night meant for Me.
I Love You,
My Son.'

At that moment, I understood the Importance of saying in Time:'I LOVE YOU!'
and to give our Loved Ones the Time that they Deserve. Nothing in Life is more important than God and your Family. Give them the Time they Deserve, because these Things cannot be Put Off till 'Some Other Time.' Pass This Along To Everyone With An Aging Parent,
To A Child,
To An Adult,
To Anyone With A Parent,  And Most Importantly,
To Someone You Truly Love

Saturday, 23 March 2013


Lalay guess what, Ahmed got married .!!
Sesly ? Na kar yar …..kameenay nay bataya nae mje ..! So how did the ceremony go?
I don’t know, the news struck upon me yesterday when I logged onto my facebook account. Firstly I thought that it’s Ahmed, with his usual style of one month-one girl….:P
“We exchange smiles of Kameengi” And Shahnawaz continued;
But then I saw numerous comments of ‘Congratulations’ and realized that he actually got married. Plus the invitation card was laying in my inbox !!

On this I too realized that I haven’t been on facebook from weeks and my life might come to an end if I continued my ignorance to the prestigious social website.

Shahnawaz and Ahmed were my childhood friends. We were too close….and our bond was getting so tight day by day that we had to take a break when people started giving us strange nodes……and we heard a poet shouting    Ab itna b na chaho k dam nikal jae

We used to spend weekends together… fine weekend when I came back home, my mother was waiting for me right at my doorstep.
“Where the hell were you, koi sharam hai tm main, pori raat bahir guzar di

And for a moment I felt like being an 18 year old, young, sizzling, hot babe….whose mother is always worried for her izzat ki tajori. But then I quickly came back to the reality. An average boy …with ordinary looks with no sense of fashion and a personality sprinkled with bad manners and ever rolling tongue….throwing pinching and at times colorful ….melodious words of typical Punjabi abusive language.
“Oh come on. Why do you have to worry about me, no one has to do any thing with me, and even by mistake if some one gets onto me, he would curse the time when he thought of it, and if it’s the other sex …she….then I would be more grateful to her :P ”

Though I never had the courage to utter the later cheaper part of my thoughts.

But right now, here on this piece of writing, let us just focus on Ahmed’s bride.

So on Shahnawaz’s alarm, I rushed onto my desktop, quickly logged onto my facebook account, saying so …‘quickly’, it still took an entire 20 minutes effort to do that. Yes my old Pentium 4, full of Trojan viruses which always had to be restarted atleast once for normal operation, and then the ever ‘fast and furious’ Qubee internet connection.

Connecting ………….connecting…………!!

And my mother called in …….beta khana kha lo aa kar
And we all know ….Ma k hath ka khana,  umm yumm

It took me around 15 minutes to hasten the entire meal inside, came back to my room and to my highest level of patience test.

Connecting ………….connecting……….!

But finally it connected. And there I was 87 likes, around 141 comments, many many congradulations and what not. And yes the couple …standing, smiling at each other, holding hands and probably vowing in their hearts for ever lasting relationship.

Awwww how cute.

And then I heard someone saying …..’what are you doing’
I ??
Well am just looking at my friend and his bride. I simply replied.
What ….sharam kar yar. Bhabi hai teri.

Yes I know that. But I haven’t placed this picture. Ahmed wants every one to see this, he wants us to see his bride. Or he could have simply placed in his own picture. Now come on just shut up and let me focus.

After putting a close eye on the couple, I commented

MA SH ‘ALLAH both of you are meant for each other, A decent couple indeed. Congratulations bro”

And while doing soo, Shahnawaz’s words echoed in my ears;
‘Beta bandi fit hai wesay
Wait a minute, come on, don’t just start judging me. Remember it’s the bride we are focusing on right now. I know many of you are going to put forward logics, accusing me of indecency, advising others to be like a true friend and close your eyes when your friend puts on his brides’ pictures on social websites. But from inside you all know that this isn’t how it works.

No one closes his eyes. And why should they??

After all you guys are putting in so much efforts, by taking and uploading all those pictures on facebook, it does requires an effort. And yes you want people to see your Bride, isn’t it?. You want them to comment and like your bride, to admire her looks. So that the next day you can come out proudly with your choori chati, in between your friends with the feeling that you have a pretty wife. And how would they know unless you public her.

I want to say here lot more than this, so that the concerned, might get thori si sharam. But I think that for those who have the slightest element of wisdom will understand, others would simply judge me back. I truly believe that our religion tells us to be respectful to our women. Islam tells us to be kind to them and give them respect. And what do you think, putting their pictures on social websites where everyone can see, judge them and admire their beauty, is respectful?

Respect your bride (your women), don’t public them for your own publicity.